Things that make my heart smile…
Everyone of my new seedling friends have made their appearance. Bless their tiny little souls. Now we have all six growing at their own pace, just like people. I wonder if I will notice characteristic traits. I suppose time will tell, again just like people.
I hope you all are having a wonderful evening.
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I can tend to be anxious, if there is something I hope to happen I want to see it come to fruition as soon as possible. But there are many times that I have to be patient, right now is one of those times. I am chomping at the bit waiting for the outcome I desire, but it is one of those things I can’t control. I have to try to let go, but with so much at stake I am finding it a challenge.
But nature has a way of reminding us that things happen the way they are supposed to happen, with little intervention by human hands, and mostly with their own unique schedule. Case in point, I planted six little seeds. I was not sure how many would sprout. At first I saw two, then three, and now five. The first few are bigger than the others, but all are putting their effort into growing. They all want to realize their potential to be flowering plants. And so today’s lesson is: that things will grow at their own pace, you can’t rush or force the outcome. You can only do your best and hope for things to blossom.
There is one more seed and I have no idea if the little fella will grow. For that matter I don’t know if my sprouts will survive. I can only give them water, give them light, and give them love. I hope that will be enough. I guess that is the best I can do with my other situation.
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It has become a highlight of my day to watch and chronicle the growth of my new little friend. Maybe it is a lesson I need to take, that no matter how dire the circumstances, you must true to make a little happy in your life. The little leaves seem to be sprouting. Isn’t it a wonderful miracle? I hope they continue to grow well.
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I have been living an extremely hard life these past few weeks, even more so than before. But I am trying to remain hopeful and have planted a few forget-me-nots to remind me. After a few days I am seeing some hopeful sprouts. I love this part. It is almost like they are encouraging me to go on.
It is funny how something so small can make such a big impact. I hope you all have something good to hold onto.
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Dear Friends,
It’s been too long since I’ve had an opportunity to write and this is most likely to be a brief post, at least that is my intention. As you know it’s been a difficult year for me, as many calamities seem to keep cropping up. A great many of them family related issues. These problems have taken up all of my time, leaving very little time for sleep. But one must soldier on, and like a good soldier I abandoned all the things that provided me with glee to take care of that which was the most critical.
Right now, I’ve skulked away to jot down this quick post and hope that I will get moments like this again in the coming year. I rather hope that things will turn around and that I will be able to write better and more upbeat posts again (another issue was that I didn’t have much positive things to post, so I remained uninspired and postless). I also hope that I get a chance to visit all of my friends blogs. In fact I am hoping for a whole cart load of wonderful things. When I think about it, it’s the hope for these things that help provide the will to go on. What are we without hope? It’s quite a sad scenario if we give up our hopes, dreams, and wishes.
Reflecting on this past year, it has been a dark reminder that things may not turn out how I want them too, but I am always where I need to be. But I can still hold on to hope and try my best. And with this my friend, I send wish you a happy New Years!!! May all your wonderful wishes come true.
Love to you all,
D….
Just because…and for so many reasons…
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When I look back at the greater part of this year I believe that I can label it a stressful year. Stressful for personal reasons, you know the sort of reasons that you don’t look for but seem to find you. The sort of events that you can’t predict nor want to happen, but just have to nut up and handle. They just seem to happen and you handle them the best you can. Although I would say it is hard to maintain a positive and happy attitude. Since I’ve been in a sad little haze I thought it would be better not to pollute the virtual reality of others with my forlorn thoughts.
I’ve intended to write posts, really I have, but never seemed to have the heart to do it. In my spare time I found myself watching videos, as I was offered trials for Netflix, Amazon Prime, Crunchyroll and Blockbuster Video. I’ve felt a bit overwhelmed by all the content offered, and filled with the panic to try and watch as much possible to make a decision. I’ve come to the conclusion that too much video can be a bad thing, thus I don’t think I have the desire to continue my subscription to any of these services for now. Sadly another free trial was offered for Dramafever, when it rains it pours.
The other time killer was Angry Birds. My question is why are they so mad at the pigs. After a while I was pretty cheesed at the porcine green creatures too, as my failed attempts yielded smug smiles from these mocking cartoon piggies. I would become quite agitated after a while. I am not so sure it was effective as a stress reliever, probably more like a series stressful moments. After a few weeks I just had to lessen my game time. I tend not to play video games, but I think I can easily become addicted to such things.
Just looking at those piggies is making me feel antsy.
Both of these distractions were aided by my purchase of a Kindle Fire HD. Since I have a growing Amazon library it made sense to get buy it. It has not been without hiccups. I had to return the first one as it just stopped playing video, which was one of the reasons that I bought it. Then there was a problem with Youtube last week, which was fixed yesterday. But for the most part it has been a fun little toy, especially since I’ve started sideloading apps. I will probably end up getting an Ipod Touch or Ipad Mini or maybe even an Ipad in the future, as my Itune library is a good size too. But for now my desire for a new tech gadget has been satiated. I will say that the Ipad Mini did not take my breath away. I had really high expectations for it, but it seems like a stretched out Ipod Touch for thirty dollars more. I think the new Touch is neat, but over priced. Well I suppose we shall see what Black Friday holds deal wise. Also I have to see if I will have funds for things that are quite unnecessary. I guess these are the decisions we have to make when we wear our big girl/boy pants. Sigh and sigh again…
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I wonder if anyone remembers Charlotte’s Web, it’s a book a lot of read as children, at least here in the U.S. It’s a bittersweet tale of the relationship between a pig which was the runt of the litter and an endearing spider. Now I have a phobia of spiders but I also have a soft spot for pigs, with their cute little curly tail(s). I have also heard that they were quite smart little animals. But this really was awesome. A piglet saves the life of a drowning kid (baby goat) whose foot was stuck in a pond at a petting zoo. Now it was really cool to see and I am glad this dufus captured and posted it, but all he did was calmly say “goat in the water.” Wouldn’t you go get help or help the little fella. Not just record it. Well that’s just my thinking, maybe someone else was getting help, who knows. At least the piglet was smart enough to do something.
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I have been meaning to post, and have created many little notes in my head with that intention. But it never came together, it never felt right, so I postponed posting. Then I thought, why not just ramble, sometimes it’s good to just ramble. It can be a cathartic release. So to that end…
I am truly glad to see Summer leave. For me, this summer has been completely odious. My to-do lists have kept me quite busy, so that I can be found toiling away late into the night. This has left me quite exhausted, although I hadn’t realized it. It can be quite shocking when you realize that you are constantly tired and that you’ve gotten used to it. This trend can then become your normal state without you granting permission for such a condition. Add in constant worry and the idea of remaining optimistic then becomes a chore, one that sometimes is not accomplished.
Although I have done my best to try to keep my spirits up, mostly through small secret purchases *click*. It may be superficial, but one does like getting little packages, it’s a real pick-me-up. Case in point, today a man driving a large brown truck wearing a brown outfit rang my doorbell and left a little brown package on my door step. Inside the most frivolous of things, a little pink nail polish and a polka-dotted bag to carry around for emergency shopping. You know, just in case I need to pick up groceries and the market doesn’t offer bags 
. Nothing could be more of a pickle than when you don’t have a bag to carry your bread and veggies. My little purchased items put a smile on my little heart.
I have also tried to be somewhat productive, clearing out some things and picking up other items that I’ve put off purchasing. I’ve given away some things to charity and sold some text books. I did hesitate to sell the book on UML patterns, but I’d never gotten around to reading it and thought I would make better use out of a new tablet. Hopefully all with go well with that transaction. I’m also wondering about the iPad Mini, the new Kindle Fire looks interesting, even though I hated the first Kindle that I owned. I suppose we shall see what happens tomorrow at their meeting. Is anyone following that? Or am I the only gadget geek? It’s OK if I am.
I think when we’re busy or having a hard time we tend to put taking care of ourselves on the back burner. When I think about it I have been somewhat abusive to myself, poor diet, taking on a lot of stress, and just letting things slide in general. I don’t think I paid it much attention until my Mom said, “you don’t have to be so mean to yourself.” My Mom has always been one of my closest and dearest friends, and one thing a good friend will do is remind you to take care of yourself. So I’ve been trying to make a little bit of time for myself, albeit quite late into the evening. My sleep schedule is completely off right now. I think I’m set for a new timezone. I am up for a change when I allowed that opportunity. In the meantime, I try to make minutes up to dream of what my next step will be and what I need to do in order to prepare for it.
Even though things are not so great right now I like to think that there is a reason for it. I learned from a very young age that things may not go the way you want it, but they always happen the way they need to. So while I may not be so happy right now, there is probably something to learn and a new chapter is about to begin. It may be a challenge to remain optimistic in this atmosphere and I may have had to make allowances but I the one thing I can not let go of is hope.
And that’s how I shall end my ramble…
Posted in Random
This Sunday I did my best to sleep in, albeit intermittently, and spend time being less than productive. My efforts were inconsistent, but the time I was allowed to muster to myself were like little treasures. I managed not to really cook, but ended up getting take out and using other cheating methods. And what little cooking I did do was very inconsequential for me. It may be small, but I call it a win.
I saw parts of the movie Paris Blues, but wasn’t allowed to see most of it. But as luck would have it some lovely person put it on Youtube.
It’s not necessarily the best movie ever, but it was a nice movie to watch and I managed to pamper myself by taking care of my bedraggled nails.
On the other hand, I was not in the mood for human contact at all it seems. I was a grumpy small animal when I was forced to leave my hovel. Ah well it’s dinner time and I have a lasagna to pop in the oven and some sausages to prepare. I hope I can spend some time tonight just relaxing again. One must live in hope…I hope your Sunday went just as you had hoped.
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Let’s face it we all have our little quirks→ idiosyncrasies→ compulsive behavior→ addictions (there was an evolutionary chain of thought going on there). In any event, one of my quirks is an extreme love of beauty products. A thing that seems to have started from a very young age, it’s one of my earliest memories, the desire to play with my Mommy’s lipstick, and remains one of the things that seems to take up an inordinate amount of my daydreams. This love-addiction can be trouble, both financially and spatially with regards to my bedroom, and in a more general sense the our ecosystem (just because the use of that much packaging can’t be good for environment).
My excessive acquisitions seem to come in waves, like many Americans I tend to buy things to cheer me up. Those things range from jewelry, clothes, make-up, electronics, and a variety of other toys (let’s face it junk) that I just don’t need. They give you a high for a moment but then the moments over and I was left wondering what I was thinking; thankfully there is such a thing as the return policy. So I made some changes in my life a few of years ago and analyzed my tendencies and thought about what I should do. One of the better ideas was to control my spending especially with beauty products, which wasn’t easy at first, but I’ve gotten pretty good at telling myself no. I give it a waiting period and then decide. The one caveat has been nail polish. I guess a girl can’t quit cold turkey. I have yet to actually finish a bottle, but still enjoy a varnish or two when a fit of weakness strikes.
The other good thing was that I built up the determination to mow through all that nonsense I bought. At first it was a bit of a pain to go through and figure out what to use first and not give in to the flippant desire to change to something else. I also changed a lot of my routine, my skin is so pampered now. It acts a bit fussy when I change, something that never used to happen before. And with the use of so many samples I have changed frequently.
My friend Liz encouraged me to post some of my empties, products that I’ve finished. I think it’s a great idea, it gives a person a sense of accomplishment, even if it may seem superficial to others. It also provides a bit of support to those trying to accomplish the same thing I think. I believe that one is supposed to describe the products and review a bit of what they liked and didn’t like. I’ll give it a go, but I don’t want to bore you with my rambling beauty thoughts. So I’ll try and keep it brief, try being the operative word…
Behold the things that are empty…
I think it’s best to do it in groups, so here goes:
Laneige is a Korean company so it may be hard to get a hold of. But I am going to say that the beauty industry in Korea is no joke. I loved the system completely and entirely. I used the following:
I got this as a sample in Korea Town, and the lady put numbers on it so I could tell what do, since I don’t read (or speak for that matter) Korean. The first one is a toner and the second one balances out your skin after the toner. I don’t know why other countries don’t offer this sort of skin care duo, it’s so fantastic.
I had A Kiss of Honey and A Kiss of Smoothness. I love this, it’s really hydrating and great to put on before you fall asleep. A girl has to keep her lips nice and hydrated. The smell is not overpowering and it’s cheap. I love inexpensive things.
Using up the Guava Lip Butter is quite easy. I think I went through it in a matter of weeks. It’s almost completely clear and smells very yummy, but for the price it feels like you may be getting ripped off. It doesn’t tend to stay around for very long. I wonder if it was so yummy smelling I unknowingly nibbled it off. I have the mango and the pomegranate rolling around somewhere. I wasn’t so impressed, and to make matters worse they’ve increased the price. I like their products, but I don’t think I would force myself to repurchase it. Plus I’ve got a few other balms to make my way through.
Missha Strawberry Peel-off type mask. I am not certain what it did, but I did use it every other day. I think my skin really liked it, because it missed it when I didn’t do it. Like it would write it letters professing it’s love and asking when it’s going to come back sort of miss it, I kid I kid. But I don’t think that they’ve discontinued it 
.
Clarin’s Multi-Active Skin Renewal Serum. I really liked this one, but it is really expensive. However, a little bit is all it takes, which means it may be worth the price as it may last a while.
Vitamin C Power Brightening Cream SPF 25, I really liked this one. It was a very good moisturizer, smelled fresh like citrus and has sun block. All good things, once I go through all my moisturizers I would consider repurchasing.
Clinique’s All About Eyes is alright. You get it in every free gift with purchase from Clinique. I can’t say anything bad about it, I don’t really have too much to say about it. It moisturizes the eye area…yup…no problems there…so…
Boscia Recharging Night Moisture, it’s the one on the right which I just realized is twisted to the side. It’s a nice little moisturizer. No complaints, I really like the pump.
Neutrogena Healthy Skin Enhancer is a nice tinted moisturizer. If you can find a shade that blends in well and you have good skin then it’s a good alternative. In the summer it gave off this pinkish gray cast and if by chance you sweat it looks white and weird, so when the season is right it is a decent choice. My confession is that funky summer cast made me annoyed so I pumped out the last few squirts in anger. I wanted it out of my life, I think I was annoyed that I had to take it off and start my routine over again.
Fresh Soy Face Cream, I am not impressed with you. It was OK, but when my face was having a bout of sensitivity it ended up irritating it. So raspberries for that.
Chandelle Essence B.B. Cream, I bought this a while back at a Japanese market. I admit I was lured in by the fact that it was made in Japan. But when I got it home I found I had to mix it with other products to make it work. At some point this annoyed me again, and the mini hulk returned. I squeezed it out with rage into the garbage.
I think that’s all of them. I don’t think I succeeded in keeping it short. Oh well…sorry about that.
Posted in Random
