I have been meaning to post, and have created many little notes in my head with that intention. But it never came together, it never felt right, so I postponed posting. Then I thought, why not just ramble, sometimes it’s good to just ramble. It can be a cathartic release. So to that end…
I am truly glad to see Summer leave. For me, this summer has been completely odious. My to-do lists have kept me quite busy, so that I can be found toiling away late into the night. This has left me quite exhausted, although I hadn’t realized it. It can be quite shocking when you realize that you are constantly tired and that you’ve gotten used to it. This trend can then become your normal state without you granting permission for such a condition. Add in constant worry and the idea of remaining optimistic then becomes a chore, one that sometimes is not accomplished.
Although I have done my best to try to keep my spirits up, mostly through small secret purchases *click*. It may be superficial, but one does like getting little packages, it’s a real pick-me-up. Case in point, today a man driving a large brown truck wearing a brown outfit rang my doorbell and left a little brown package on my door step. Inside the most frivolous of things, a little pink nail polish and a polka-dotted bag to carry around for emergency shopping. You know, just in case I need to pick up groceries and the market doesn’t offer bags . Nothing could be more of a pickle than when you don’t have a bag to carry your bread and veggies. My little purchased items put a smile on my little heart.
I have also tried to be somewhat productive, clearing out some things and picking up other items that I’ve put off purchasing. I’ve given away some things to charity and sold some text books. I did hesitate to sell the book on UML patterns, but I’d never gotten around to reading it and thought I would make better use out of a new tablet. Hopefully all with go well with that transaction. I’m also wondering about the iPad Mini, the new Kindle Fire looks interesting, even though I hated the first Kindle that I owned. I suppose we shall see what happens tomorrow at their meeting. Is anyone following that? Or am I the only gadget geek? It’s OK if I am.
I think when we’re busy or having a hard time we tend to put taking care of ourselves on the back burner. When I think about it I have been somewhat abusive to myself, poor diet, taking on a lot of stress, and just letting things slide in general. I don’t think I paid it much attention until my Mom said, “you don’t have to be so mean to yourself.” My Mom has always been one of my closest and dearest friends, and one thing a good friend will do is remind you to take care of yourself. So I’ve been trying to make a little bit of time for myself, albeit quite late into the evening. My sleep schedule is completely off right now. I think I’m set for a new timezone. I am up for a change when I allowed that opportunity. In the meantime, I try to make minutes up to dream of what my next step will be and what I need to do in order to prepare for it.
Even though things are not so great right now I like to think that there is a reason for it. I learned from a very young age that things may not go the way you want it, but they always happen the way they need to. So while I may not be so happy right now, there is probably something to learn and a new chapter is about to begin. It may be a challenge to remain optimistic in this atmosphere and I may have had to make allowances but I the one thing I can not let go of is hope.
And that’s how I shall end my ramble…