A Happy Peach

Things that make my heart smile…

Choices…

17 Comments

 

Life, in a way, is a series of choices. We make them everyday. I would say that most of the choices we make are small, so the repercussions are smaller and we don’t notice them as much. It’s the big life choices that we remember, the ones that we mulled over for a long time, the ones that we knew we had to make a commitment to, the ones that could possibly change the direction of our lives. Those are the ones that we think have the most impact.

While those big impact choices do have a way of changing how we live, I say the small choices we make are really the ones that make us who we are. For instance we make a decision of what we should eat every day. And whether we realize it or not, we tend to establish a pattern. The next thing you know you look in the mirror and see a burger hanging out your mouth with a surprised expression at how much weight you gained and how bad your skin looks. This shock drives you to the decision to eat healthier and join a gym or some other form of activity. But you realize that it is harder to make such a dramatic change, finding it a challenge you may stop and start again until you realize you have to implement the change the same way you start, with small choices. In this way the small choices are like a steady flow of water drops etching away an indentation on a rock. It won’t happen overnight, but with constant dripping it will forge a small indentation which may lead to a hole.

If we continue the analogy of water as a choices and it’s effect upon the rock (i.e. us), we can think of a big impact choice as a gush of water. It can sweep us away into waters unknown. It has an unsettling effect upon us as it jostles us into situations which are new and unfamiliar. We may end up in a better place or we may end up in a situation which we would rather not be in (worst case scenario is that you are smashed to bits by another rock, but that’s improbable). These sorts of choices can entail such turmoil for us, but once it settles the rewards may be great. Those are the risks we take in life. We also take a risk by not doing anything. When we are honest with ourselves we realize that all of our future days have an element of the unknown. The key to life’s risk management is accepting that unknown quality of tomorrow and making the best choices you can right now. Tomorrow you may choose to make a different choice.

When I have downtime I tend to think about these things. I tend to reevaluate the choices that I have made in my life. Some good and some bad, but I try not regret the choices that may have felt like a bad experience, rather I try to see it as a learning experience. It’s easier to do that when you have distance, there is a clarity that one can achieve. With all these life experiences as a learning tool I hope to make better choices.

Right now it feels like a rich bit of tapestry that I have been creating, a healthy balance of light and dark, with so much of the canvas it is still blank. I bet everyone has some really wonderful stories of the choices, big and small, that they’ve made. If you’re willing, I’d love to hear them.

 

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17 thoughts on “Choices…

  1. I love this post. Ironically, I started my first session in the gym yesterday after nearly a year of hiatus. And so I did my weighing, and the trainer assessed my “problem” and set goals. The number shocked me to the core! I knew I put on weight but never expected myself to be that heavy. Its the heaviest I have ever been (if the scales do not deceive….). I am “technically obese”! And the the session was hell. My body is aching now. No one to blame but myself. I have been snacking a lot. Especially chocolate snacks with no moderation. Choice. *Hanging my head in shame and regret*.

    • Oh Tien, a lot of us go through this sort of stuff. It usually coincides with various life stuff. I know that I have to get myself to live a healthier life. But everything is quite up in the air for me. I also have a tendency to make food a fun part of my day and so I think I sometimes don’t eat right. I’ve been pretty good about disciplining myself lately so I just need to stay on track. We’ll do it alright, it’s just a momentary pause for us. Hmm…I wonder what we can do to support on another while making these lifestyle changes. Any suggestions?

    • *Hanging my head in shame and regret*. LOL the description sumhow is very interesting Tien.

      • I know, it after Tien’s description, I feel like I am hanging my head in shame and regret. But I think the key for all of it is to pick our chins up and do our best to counteract our previous choices. Balance it out. That’s the outstanding thing about being alive and able to choose, you can always make new choices and changes in your life. Yay life!!!

  2. There’s also another element: fate. If you subscribe to the theory that everything is pr-ordained, then there are some things that cannot be altered….but may be adapted. Time is flexible and within reason, so many details can affect our course of action. What it comes down to, is awareness: once you become aware, of yourself, your space, your surroundings, others, and accept that awareness with all the consequences it entails (no deniability), then you truly begin the path to peace, contentment and self-enlightenment (listen to me — I sound like Buddha!). The easiest thing in the world, is to slough things off and refuse to acknowledge our part in anything, whether good or bad. It takes courage to look deep inside and admit that you could have done things differently, better, nicer, etc. You, my friend, are digging deep and you know what? In the end, you will be a better person for it because you will become “aware”.
    PS: I like the new blog format – it’s, well…..happy!

    • My dear friend Eugenia Buddha I absolutely agree, there is a sort of destiny in life. I think that all things are in balance. While there are some things that are meant to happen, but we are contributors in the way that it happens. I tend to try and analyze things so I don’t make the same mistake. Because to do it once is an opportunity to learn to do it a second time shows that I did not learn the lesson. Right now I am mulling over an opportunity that may happen, but I am not sure if it’s the right thing. It’s not something that I planned for but it would be a new experience, should things go in that direction. On one hand I would like to experience it, while on the other hand I don’t know if it’s something I need. So at this point I leave it all up to the higher power and am trying to resist the urge to stress out about it. I am just going to go with the flow of the universe and make the best of things.

      Thanks, I like that it’s a bit perkier. I think the old one might have been drab. It even inspired to get a yellow nail polish ( BL’s Cheeky Chops).

  3. So many choices, it’s weird to imagine how differently life may have gone if you’d made different choices. Sometimes I wish we could see better where our lives are going. Sometimes I think the unknown is better ebcause of the choices.

    • Sometimes, when my days aren’t going the way I would like, I do wish I could see when there will be a break from the bad and the start of the new and good. I think that’s why I like the weather report. But I think like the weather report it’s all about statistical probabilities. And if you knew what was likely going to happen and did something different you would alter the future. Since there are infinite possibilities you’d never really be able to pick and choose the right one. So I guess knowing the future can be a sort of paradox.
      I like the saying that our personalities are our destinies. If we go with that then the people that we are and way that we behave will be what guides our future.

  4. Its not just choices we’ve made its also the ones we’ve yet to make. Life is seemingly made up of infinite threads.

    Sometimes I wish I knew were they all lead. Cause theres a chance I’ll be following one soon.

    • You know some Asian cultures have this belief of the threads of fate. Where people who were destined to marry/soul mate/etc. were bound by an invisible red string of fate (I know invisible but red, right?). But there are so many infinite choices and outcomes and we take our chances each day. Most days without flinching.

      Hmm…I wonder, if you knew where each string led, which one would you chose, and would knowing the outcome actually change the outcome. Like the strings themselves were alive and evolving. I bet which ever choice you make, you will find a wonderful adventure. I’ve got a few choices to make too, and they are giving me a bit of a headache.

  5. D, yu said well. we really make so many choices each moment..n every one of it counts!

  6. I was just speaking with someone recently about how despite being well into our 30s, life isn’t as easy to navigate as we thought it would be when we were younger. There are more choices than ever before, and as a creature of habit, I’m especially prone to repeating habits of the past which create the ‘me’ of today. So I’m convicted by your post, especially regarding the part about small choices dictating who we are. It’s so true. If I stop to think too much about it, I tend to end up kicking myself for hours and days and weeks, so I’ll just let the echoes of your words dance lightly in my head for the moment — and come back to them on a day when I am stronger and ready to make a definitive change. Thank you for the post, Danielle.

    • You know the thirties are so different from what I imagined as a kid (say 12). First I thought you were supposed to be this adult who knew everything. And while I am a bit wiser, I often think about how big of a boob I was when I was a kid, the more questions I answer the more lost I feel. Or maybe it’s that there are more questions that seems to go deeper. I am really glad that for all the responses that my blogging friends have contributed. It’s really helped me with my thoughts.

  7. If only we knew what choices to make.

    • I don’t know if there really is a correct answer. But making choices that are true to who we are is probably the best route, and as we get older it does seem like we get better at it.

  8. Pingback: Choices…Cast Your Fate To The Wind… « A Happy Peach

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