***Please note this one is long, so you may want to grab a cup of tea and settle in.
I am so grateful for all your comments which you all made for the last post Choices. I was writing a follow-up post the day after posting and got about three sentences in when I thought it would be great to incorporate your wonderful sentiments into it. Indeed your words gave me quite a bit to think over, your varying perspectives ruminated in my head and new ideas began to brew. Additionally I am trying to make some decisions about the direction of my life and your thoughts have really been helpful, and I would like to reiterate my Thanks 😀 for that too.
I think we are faced with choices to make over varying sizes and each decision will have their own impact on your life. Sweet Tien reminded me that if we regret or have remorse for our actions that we always have the power to take new steps to correct it. A lot of times the path back can be a harder path to travel, but worth it. I also see a value in going down a path you didn’t want, it not only teaches you to appreciate what you had/have but also strengthens you as you work/battle to regain it. Additionally you learn a lesson, you understand why you don’t want to repeat that mistake as well as what not to do so you don’t repeat it. One of life’s great experiences are the lessons that we’ve learned which lead to the skills that we master.
In our choices we must be willing to accept the element of fate. Dear Eugenia spoke of fate and the role that it plays in our lives. I am inclined to agree with her philosophy of fate as it is my personal belief that, “Everything Happens for a Reason.” I tend to feel that some things are less an accident and more a misunderstanding, a misunderstanding in the sense that we don’t understand yet why we need to have that experience, but it will be of some value at a later time. And Eugenia you are quite right, taking personal stock like this does help one to become more self-aware. I think it’s a good thing to strive to better your understanding of yourself, it’s the best way to deepen your relationship with yourself.
When you think about your choices you can’t help but think about what effect they had on the future. Lovely Vicky brought up the idea of what if we had made different choices, would the outcome have changed? Also what if we knew had the “gift” of precognition would that help us make better choices? Although it seems like a bit of science fiction, but I also wonder about what the outcomes would be had I made a different choice. I can’t help but let my imagination run away with me when I consider what could have been. Of course what I envision depends entirely on my mood and my imagined scenario. Some of them are down right hysterical, and I think of these “fantasies” as a bit of an indulgence and would rather not take it too seriously since you really can’t change the past. But every so often the scenarios help me to make future decisions. I wonder if anyone else participates in such exercises.
Which brings me to my homie Skyraft Wander’s concept of infinite possibilities. When it comes down to it the our choices are really limited by us and what we are willing to do, beyond that there are choices that we could make that may seem out of character, so we tend to rule it out without even considering them. If we think of these choices as threads or pathways the possibilities for a variety of outcomes lies in the realm of the infinite. One decision could be the catalyst which changes our entire future and we currently have no real way of being certain of that. Again we theorize what it would be like to know before hand what the effect of each of our choices would make. It can be truly mind-boggling (consider my mind truly boggled). But if we factor in the possibility for destiny or even there being an underlying system which is working without our knowledge and calculates all possibilities and adjusts events and pathways based upon our decisions so that we reach the proper destination, then theorizing on what might have been becomes a bit of a moot point.
Confused, yes, me too. But it’s probably because I began to overanalyze it at this point. Thankfully my delightful friend Pervisha brought me back to my original thought: that all our choices are important. We just have to make every effort to make the best choice given our resources and state of mind. I think the caveat to this is that there are some things that we cannot control, and maybe in its own way we have to give up that desire to control things and move with the momentum of (chosen?) destiny. So our choices can be fluid and adaptable. Our choices become tailored as we walk our paths.
I think of Rex Stout’s character Nero Wolfe’s instructions to his right hand man Archie Goodwin is pretty good advice, “You are to act in the light of experience as guided by intelligence.” My gal pal Liz brought up the how many of us, myself included, believed that when we were of a certain age (i.e. past our twenties) we would have an easy time making decisions. But I do believe that time and experience are useful and that they temper our decisions. I think for me a veil has been lifted, I have personally given up many preconceived notions as most of them have not been able to hold water. I find it amusing that time has taught me to be open, flexible and patient. I know that in my teens and twenties there may have been a rigidity to my thinking, but as I have aged (hmm…that phrasing makes me sound like I have been trapped inside some tar pit) I have softened quite a bit and I am far less judgmental (at least I hope I am). As a person I feel like I am still evolving, but principally I am the same person. To tie it in with the theme of destiny, they say that your personality is your destiny. I think there is a ring of truth to that, and maybe that is what marries your choices to destiny.
At the time of this posting the last comment was made by my young friend Avanthika’s wish to know what choices to make. After considering it quite a bit I think it’s less about making the right choice, I don’t there is such a thing. But I think when considering your choices some of your alternatives yield may more desirable choices than others. And if we were told what the outcome of our choices may be paradoxically our knowledge of this outcome may change the outcome as our actions may change with this information. If this supposition is true then knowing the future is impossible. But it’s all just a theory and right now I can’t see of a way to prove or disprove it.
I’ll close this super long post with the following thoughts:
If I could know the future, I wouldn’t want to because I think it may be stressful. If I could change the past, I wouldn’t because my history good, bad or indifferent it has contributed to who I am today and that makes me happy. If somethings are destined then I can’t control it, but I can try to make choices that make people happy and causes the least amount of harm in the short and long run.
That being said maybe the best thing to do is cast our fate to the wind. Thanks again for all of your insightful input. I would appreciate hearing any further thoughts you have.