I have some sad news to report my friends, my mini urban farm is not doing so well. I find it queer how much emotion one goes through with these sort of things. I think I may have become way too attached. In fact there is a huge possibility that I may have elmira’d it. Hopefully you remember Elmira, that nutty broad who used to “love” animals and babies to death. Her desire to take care of things was so extreme that it tended to inflict pain and suffering on the recipient. Just in case you don’t here is a clip of her babysitting:
Honestly I am not sure what went wrong. I may have over wet them. It may have been too cold. The atmosphere may have been too inconsistent (we went from 80 degrees to rainy 60 degrees right back to 80’s this week), and that may have been too stressful. Maybe I was over attentive or maybe my they felt my personal stress. I even tried a second time and things again did not go as planned, I think I feared over wetting so went in the opposite direction. Right now I am not sure what went wrong but have managed to salvage a few hardy little plants.
The entire downfall was quite distressing. The idea that a living thing that you were trying to nurture has gone and kicked the bucket is always disturbing. I tended to mope around a bit, absolutely sullen that things were not turning out as I had hoped despite all my efforts. I may have even gone through Kübler-Ross’ Five stages of grief (denial, anger, bargaining, depression and acceptance). My Mom reminded me of something that life has taught me over and over again, that maybe it was not the time for it now. Despite all my effort and resource it could be a culmination of things which led to the demise and that I can replant in the Spring when the weather is a bit more stable. Ah yes, it is good when someone in our lives help us to snap out of it and move on.
I think this is one of the lessons that I have the hardest time grasping. Learning to let go, it’s easier as I get older since I don’t fixate on things and situations as much (or at least make the attempt), but there are times when I need to be reminded. For me, this year has not been my favorite but I am ready to start anew and let this one go. It may be one of those situations in which one has to be resilient and willing to let go of the things that just aren’t working and start over with a new resolve. But then again that may just be the way that things are in life, let go of the things that are bad and grow the things that are good.