A Happy Peach

Things that make my heart smile…

Ashes, Ashes We All Fall Down…

15 Comments

My friends, I have written, revised, rewritten, and completely changed the topic of this post over the past two weeks. The truth of the matter is that I am not sure what to write. Of course there is the option of the seemingly obligatory, I am not dead statement when one takes time away from their blog. But that specific compulsory statement makes me think of some sort of blogger graveyard. I think a lot of people blog for different reasons, some (and really it’s a lot) want to get some sort of recognition, while others may just want to write their thoughts like a public diary of sorts. I am not certain what my exact reason is, I think I just like the creative process and the people who I’ve met.

However, lately I just haven’t made it a priority to post, it’s not like it wasn’t on my mind, but it just got pushed to the back. In fact I started versions of this very post and was called away a few times, each time I attempted to resume my thoughts on the subject matter had shifted in some ways. I felt bad about not really posting, but at the same time, I didn’t feel like dialing it in. But as my friend Liz pointed out (and mind you this is me paraphrasing) that our blogs are not graded. This made me realize I had been generating unnecessary guilt and stress for my lack of blogging. Aren’t friends the best at telling you what you need to hear to make your heart feel a bit better.

This made me wonder why I hadn’t been posting. I think the overall malaise stems from a general burned out feeling. You know how life is, you have the things you have to do and from time-to-time those things tend to occupy most of your day if not all of your waking hours. I think from there I was stricken with low to lack of motivation. This motivation issue seems to developed systematically. At first I had things I wanted to do and thought to just put them on the list of things to do, which hence forth shall be called: “the list”. Then those things I wanted to do were juggled around till they found themselves on the bottom of the list. Considering time and money, a lot of them started to be moved off the list till there were none that occupied the list.  After they were removed from the list it then became laughable to conceive of these things I would like to do, because there were no allowances for them. After a while I forgot that there was such a thing as something I would like to do. What a sad turn of events.

Unfortunately, I think this happens more than we would like to admit in our grown-up lives. We just get so involved with our day-to-day lives and the things we don’t want to do, but have to do, that we neglect our dreams and passions. We become practical to a fault, and inevitably misery ensues. I found myself behaving and feeling uncharacteristic. More times than I care to remember, I was irritable, short of patience, and not feeling optimistic. There was a little grey storm cloud (whom I like to call Filbert) over my head.

I think another way of looking at it was that my lifestyle was out of balance. I didn’t have enough of the things that I loved in my life. Much to my chagrin I would never say that I was a person with a specific dream. I had flights of fancy, I’ve been determined and accomplished, and I’ve had things that I would like to do, but I am sorry to say that I don’t recall having a dream that I thought I would chase. Now all of this may be semantics, but I think there’s a bit of logic to it. I think for myself, I define a dream as something your heart truly desires therein which your actions then reveal themselves to follow/have purpose. Now to distinguish it from other goals further, I think there is an element of passion, you tend to invest all of yourself into this purpose, more than your other life choices.

After having said all this, I have begun to think that dreams are integral to your mental sanity. It’s almost as if it helps allows us to maintain a sanguine viewpoint on life. Maybe your love of your dream then becomes your drive/motivation. I also think these dreams are nourishment for your soul/inner self (or whatever you may call it). Having and chasing your dream may reinvigorate,  refresh and revitalize you. I have decided to draw up some dream plans (how overly organized of me, at least I didn’t phrase it as a dream scheme). My strategy is to list out all the dreams I can think of, and incorporate them into my life one at a time. Probably start with the small ones first, baby steps, right.

And so, if you’ve made it through this rambling post, one thank you, and two what do you think of dreams? Or, conversely (perhaps three), do you feel like the everyday minutia has eclipsed all the fun in your life?

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15 thoughts on “Ashes, Ashes We All Fall Down…

  1. I believe dreams are a manifestation of our desires, the part of us that wants to keep us motivated towards a particular goal. Without dreams, What do we have to strive for? does this make any sense?

  2. It makes total sense. I love the way you expressed it.

    I think I’ve equated dreams with goals, whereas you’ve likened them to the things that bring us closer to our goals? That’s given me something to think about. Thanks for that.

  3. D…..as our good friend Liz so wisely mentioned, blogs are NOT graded and so you should never have stopped feeling free to write about whatever you wished to, whether it had a “purpose” or not. As to dreams, you’re very right about one specific point, and that is that all human beings need dreams to survive. The are a way of making sense of all that we are assaulted with during our waking hours, and also a way of helping us hone in on who we are and where we wish to head to in life.
    Take time to just be, write when and if you feel like it, and never feel like you’re letting anyone down if you don’t write; this little baby was dreamed up by you after all, and plays by YOUR rules!

    • I think I had trouble with my writings because I kept trying to understand what was bothering me. And each day I gleaned a bit more understanding, funny how understanding oneself can take a while. Like we’re transitioning and the full picture make take a bit longer to see and comprehend. I thought once I could figure it out I could compose something I could feel good about posting.

      I felt a bit guilty because it felt like not talking to a friend you care about, not that I felt any conceit that I was letting people down by not posting (I thought I may have sounded like a bit of ego maniac at some point). I also I wanted practice consistent posting. It’s the fear that one may just stop posting because it’s just be so easy to do.

      I think dreams make life sweet, and can change your perspective so wonderfully.

  4. “We just get so involved with our day-to-day lives and the things we don’t want to do, but have to do, that we neglect our dreams and passions. We become practical to a fault, and inevitably misery ensues.”

    Funny how when we were kids we had many dreams but didn’t have the autonomy to act on them, but now we’re adults and have more say in our choices, we just don’t act on them. I agree that we all need to take time to think about our dreams and put them out in the forefront again. We can’t allow ourselves to be enslaved by the daily grind.

    • It is funny, it’s that we have so many restrictions, so many responsibilities. I’m trying to get back to the things I love. I know that I am going to have to make a lot of changes and sacrifices, but I think it’s worth it. I don’t want to be enslaved to anything, I want to love the life I’m leading.

  5. I think dreams are engine life. Maybe we shouldn’t mix them up with goals, but why not, after all?
    Yes, dreamers have often a “Filbert” over them. But Filbert is a piece of our soul. We are (i’m like you i
    think…) what we are because of it. As we could be so expressive with some of our friend, some day, as we could be full of spleen some others days. Some days where we want to be alone. For think. For crying. Or just to be alone, to benefit a piece of freedom

    No matter you don’t post all the day. The matter is that all of your post is full of sensibility, of meaning. Full of you in fact.

    I prefer a blogger who post four articles that make sense a month, than a blogger who post every day to say nothing.

    Take your time, dream your dreams, live your life.
    Blogging is an hobby, not the life.
    And there will be always someone here to read you.

    And be cool with Filbert, he don’t want to hurt you 🙂

    • I really love your sentiment, it’s very encouraging. I think it is something along the lines of it’s a part of the act of being human. Like we live our lives and part of that, maybe the thing that keeps us going is our dreams. Very beautiful and important to cherish. As are all the little emotions and moments of confusion which hopefully lead to enlightenment.

      Filbert doesn’t mean harm, perhaps he’s just there so the rainbow can come, no?

      Thanks so much for saying what you’ve said my friend.

  6. Nothing that I can add to the conversation. Just wanted to let you know I feel the same!

    • It’s nice to know that a friend understands. It comforts and tends to remove that feeling of isolation/alienation. Thanks my friend, it means a lot.

  7. Sometimes you have to take a break. I haven’t posted for a few days and was struggling with what to write but it’s best to step away from the computer and relax. Blogging should be fun not a chore!

    • Absolutely, blogging is something we choose to do with our time. And that time and effort is precious, so blogging should be a positive enjoyable pasttime. I think when it’s not, then it’s better to take time away.

      I also think I had so much going on that I was a bit overwhelmed and feeling stressed. In the end it felt like I couldn’t make time for enjoyment or wouldn’t have been able to enjoy it.

  8. Well, I’m not sure this is the best place to post this, but here goes. I figured you may have been upset lately, so here’s this (and by this I mean these) :

    http://smg.photobucket.com/albums/v85/Krazy_Kamikaze/Cheer%20Up%20D%20Mark%201/

    (I’d already made the models, just had the idea of putting them together).

    Hope it helps in some small way.

    • I absolutely love it!!! You are such a great friend, it made me so happy too!!! Thank you so much.

      I think all the stuff I have been going through has just gotten to me. But I am really glad you reminded me of how that there is going to be good stuff out there, and the Dragon Watcher gave me some good advice. I am going to try my hardest to cheer up!!!

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